Understanding the 5 Love Languages
Most people cannot define their vision of love because love is a complicated matter and relationships can be challenging. However, there are proven ways to better understand how we give and receive love from others. According to Dr. Chapman, there are five primary love languages that people speak. Are love languages real, or are they a myth? Could knowing your partner’s love language improve your relationship? Let's find out.
The languages include words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Here is an overview of each:
Words of affirmation: Compliments, sweet statements, expressions of pride and appreciation – these are verbal statements that display affection.
Receiving gifts: This involves tangible items with thoughtful meaning. Gifts do not have to cost a lot of money. They simply show, “Hey, he was thinking of me today.”
Acts of service: These are actions, not physical gifts. Examples include having dinner ready when your spouse gets home from work, washing your partner’s car, giving your spouse a foot rub at the end of the day, etc.
Quality time: This involves spending time with your partner, either doing an activity or hanging out at home. Acts of service and quality time are similar in that they are both gifts of time. However, quality time involves moments together. Acts of service are thoughtful efforts.
Physical touch: This is physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, being intimate, etc.
According to Dr. Chapman, each person has a primary and secondary love language. The primary love language is the one that resonates “love” to that person the most. A person’s secondary love language has less value than the primary love language, but it still communicates love to them.
Love languages have two sides – Giving and Receiving
How you normally give love may not be the same as how you receive love. These factors usually align, but not always. For example, I may enjoy giving gifts to others, but I do not enjoy receiving them. I may enjoy surprising my loved ones with acts of service, but I dislike surprises in return.
With that in mind, the five love languages do provide a helpful guideline for a thriving and long-lasting relationship. Understanding your love languages and your partner’s love languages can ensure that you showcase your love clearly and effectively.
When was the last time you have felt most loved? Ask your partner to do the same, and talk about the elements that are equivalent to the word "I love you". It's not gonna be easy but it'll definitely be worth it. ♥
~Jade Asuncion