Self-care may seem like just another buzzword, but at its core, it's a vital commitment to ourselves—a pledge to prioritize our well-being in our daily lives. By enhancing our self-care routines, we can see improvements in our mood, appearance, and energy levels. Furthermore, effective self-care is linked to better mental health, resulting in benefits such as increased self-esteem, optimism, a more positive outlook, and decreased anxiety and depression.

We are our most precious asset, making it crucial to support both our physical and mental health. While neglecting ourselves is not our intention, self-care often gets pushed down our priority list in the chaos of our busy lives.

The journey of self-sacrifice is frequently lined with good intentions. We often set aside our own needs to meet deadlines, help others, and show our love by going above and beyond. In doing so, we can overcommit, make promises we can't fulfill, and drain our energy without realizing how stressed and fatigued we have become.

When we feel exhausted, frustrated, and dissatisfied, we may look for quick fixes for relief. This often leads us to engage in habits that offer only temporary distraction rather than real improvement. Consequently, we might end the day feeling too worn out to rest adequately, only to wake up and repeat the cycle. The solution lies in embracing quality self-care that nurtures us and ensures we remain active participants in our own lives.

Effective self-care emphasizes nurturing and optimizing our four sources of energy: the food we eat, our sleep patterns, our breathing (or physical activity levels), and our mental state. Many experts refer to these four dimensions as the pillars of quality self-care. By incorporating quality self-care into our daily routines, we can reconnect and rejuvenate ourselves—mind, body, and spirit.

Unlike a new car that comes with an owner's manual, we lack a guide for ourselves. However, if we had one, it would teach us how to nourish ourselves with fresh, nutritious foods, avoid harmful habits, and treat ourselves with kindness and compassion while confronting negative beliefs. We would prioritize daily physical activity, practice deep breathing, focus on getting quality sleep, and engage in activities and relationships that bring us joy and a sense of connection.

Relationship satisfaction is primarily influenced by the positive feelings each partner harbors towards the other, as well as their commitment to nurturing the relationship.

Healthy relationships foster a secure and supportive environment where both partners can express their needs and desires respectfully. This atmosphere encourages regular check-ins to discuss what brings satisfaction or dissatisfaction to each individual.

Conversely, unhealthy relationships often result in power imbalances and insufficient support, where there is a lack of space, trust, or understanding needed to adequately meet each partner's needs.

When emotional, physical, sexual, or financial abuse occurs, partners may find themselves entrapped in harmful cycles.

Below are some distinguishing characteristics of healthy versus unhealthy relationships:

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships:

• Mutual Respect: Each partner values the other and respects their boundaries.

• Trust: Partners have confidence in each other and extend the benefit of the doubt.

• Honesty: Open communication strengthens trust and the overall relationship.

• Compromise: Partners acknowledge differing viewpoints and are willing to negotiate.

• Individuality: Each partner retains their identity, continuing to maintain friendships, pursue hobbies, and support each other's interests.

• Good Communication: Honest and open dialogue helps prevent misunderstandings.

• Anger Control: Healthy expression of anger, such as taking deep breaths or discussing feelings, is practiced.

• Fighting Fair: Arguments remain focused on the issue at hand without resorting to insults, with breaks taken as needed.

• Problem Solving: Issues are addressed by breaking them into manageable parts and collaboratively seeking solutions.

• Understanding: Time is taken to comprehend each other's feelings.

• Self-Confidence: Confident partners allow for the expression of differing opinions without imposing their own.

• Being a Role Model: Demonstrating respect to inspire and encourage others.

• Healthy Sexual Relationship: Partners engage in mutually enjoyable sexual activities without pressure.

Characteristics of Unhealthy Relationships:

• Control: One partner dominates decision-making, dictates actions, and attempts to isolate the other from friends and family.

• Hostility: Engaging in provocations or unnecessary conflicts, leading one partner to alter their behavior to avoid upsetting the other.

• Dishonesty: Includes lying, withholding information, or stealing from one another.

• Disrespect: Mocking the other’s opinions or interests, or damaging their belongings.

• Dependence: Feeling incapable of living independently from the other and threatening severe actions if the relationship ends.

• Intimidation: Controlling aspects of the partner's life through fear, isolation, or threats.

• Physical Violence: Utilizing force to achieve control (e.g., hitting, slapping, pushing).

• Sexual Violence: Coercing or forcing sexual activity without consent.

Recognizing the importance of respect and understanding the characteristics of both healthy and unhealthy relationships can aid in self-reflection regarding personal relationships. Maintaining open communication and ongoing effort is essential in cultivating healthy relationships and proactively identifying signs of unhealthy dynamics, which can help prevent abuse or violence before it escalates.

~ Monica Manuel, MS, LPC

Many individuals and couples struggle with determining the best time to begin couples therapy. The straightforward answer is: as soon as possible.

The Gottman Institute, a prominent organization focused on relationship research and training, has studied when couples seek professional assistance. Their research uncovers a surprising trend: on average, couples wait six years after first facing relationship challenges before reaching out for help. During this time, considerable harm can happen.

For relationship therapists, when couples start therapy after enduring long-standing issues, recovery often becomes more complex. The journey may take longer and demand addressing a larger amount of emotional hurt.

Early intervention in couples therapy brings multiple benefits. It not only accelerates recovery but also fosters the development of a deeper connection with your partner. Furthermore, early therapy is linked to improved mental health for individuals and better relationships with other loved ones, including parents, siblings, friends, and children.

Recently, there has been a noticeable shift toward couples proactively seeking support sooner. Many are now engaging in therapy even when not in distress, aiming to strengthen their relationship from a position of stability. These so-called "enrichment-seeking couples" often experience significant benefits from early intervention.

Whether you aim to enhance your relationship or have been dealing with distress for a while, couples therapy offers a constructive and supportive space for growth. Although various factors may contribute to hesitance in seeking help, those who do often find it to be a valuable choice.

Our practice empathetic and tailored therapy for all couples eager to restore and nurture their relationship while addressing past challenges and disappointments. Our philosophy embraces an uplifting perspective on LGBTQ+ identities and relationships, emphasizing how individuals who identify as LGBTQ can nurture a sense of well-being and develop a personal identity that enables them to thrive in every aspect of life.

~ Monica Manuel, MS, LPC

Remember to refresh your environment and infuse your space with peace and tranquility. Turn any room into a soothing retreat where you can unwind and rejuvenate. You can design spaces that not only look beautiful but also promote relaxation , creating a tranquil sanctuary within your home. Focus on incorporating natural elements, soft textures, and calming colors to enhance the sense of peace and luxury in your living spaces.

• Consider adding indoor plants to bring nature indoors and improve air quality.

• Use soft throw blankets, plush rugs, and comfortable cushions to create a cozy atmosphere.

• Choose calming colors like soft blues, greens, and neutrals to promote relaxation.

• Incorporate natural materials like wood, stone, and bamboo for a serene and organic feel.

• Utilize soft lighting options such as candles, fairy lights, or dimmable lamps to create a soothing ambiance.

• Introduce elements of water, like a small indoor fountain or a tabletop water feature, to enhance tranquility and relaxation.

• Opt for furniture with rounded edges and soft lines to promote a sense of flow and harmony in your space.

• Implement soundproofing solutions or play soft music to create a serene and peaceful environment that fosters relaxation.

• Add a cozy reading nook with a comfortable chair, a soft throw, and a small side table for your favorite books and a cup of tea.

• Create a designated meditation or yoga corner with a soft yoga mat, cushions, and a scented candle to encourage mindfulness and relaxation.

• Install a diffuser with calming essential oils like lavender or chamomile to fill your space with soothing scents.

• Hang sheer curtains to allow natural light to filter in gently, creating a soft and ethereal atmosphere in the room.

• Remember to personalize your space with meaningful decor items, photographs, or artwork that bring joy and comfort to your surroundings.

Don't forget to regularly update and refresh your sanctuary to maintain its peaceful vibe and continue to enjoy its rejuvenating benefits. Let's continue transforming your living spaces into serene sanctuaries where you can unwind and find inner peace!

Day after day there is always something that you must be responsible for whether it is a job, project, or parenting. There are countless tasks and responsibilities that one must tackle. Although all these duties are important, taking care of yourself is equally important to ensure you can operate to the best of your ability. You cannot pour into others if you are not taking care of yourself first. According to research conducted by Julie M. Slowiak and Amanda C. DeLongchamp, it has been found that self-care is a strong predictor of how well one is able to balance work and life.

Tips for practical ways to balance between work and life

1.      Find Your “Why” Intention is everything when it comes to how you want to live your life. Do you find yourself more drained than energetic? Do you find yourself having a hard time trying to schedule time with your kids or significant other? It is important to ask yourself why you want to have a good work-life balance to look at how you want to prioritize your life.

2.      Make Your Job Work for You. It has been found that flexible work schedules lead to lower stress levels, increased productivity, and improve employee work-life balance. Happiness at work has been linked to opportunities for growth which is what we all strive for in this life. I know not everyone loves their job but celebrating what you do love can go a long way.

3.      Set Boundaries.  Boundaries are the foundation of having a great work-life balance. A practical way to set boundaries is to leave work at work--your home life at home. Prioritize completing work tasks and duties at work and spend more time focusing on yourself and your family when you are at home.

4.      Mindful Breathing.  Taking time to simply breathe is an essential tip. Mindful breathing has been found to reduce blood pressure, improve the immune system, and help manage depression.

5.      Limiting Distractions. In this day and age, people are constantly distracted by what is on their phones, laptops or TVs. Limiting and blocking out the use of the internet can help you to fill that time on skills and hobbies that are more beneficial to you. Whether that is reading a book that you have been meaning to read or just using that time to take a much-needed bubble bath full of your favorite scents. This time away from the internet and its distractions can help you to refocus on your responsibilities.

Incorporating self-care into your work-life balance in ways that works for you is an on-going skill and one that you must intentionally strive at every day. Implementing these tips will get easier over time and most importantly will help you to become a more well-balanced person. 

-Nia Moore

In the fast-paced and ever-changing world we live in, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by circumstances beyond our control. However, amidst the chaos, lies an empowering truth: there are aspects of our lives that we can control. Being mindful of these controllable factors is of utmost importance, as it grants us the ability to shape our own destinies and foster personal growth and well-being. Embracing a holistic view, we delve into the essential elements within our grasp, such as our beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, and choices, that hold the potential to transform our lives for the better. By recognizing and harnessing this power, we can steer ourselves towards a more purposeful and fulfilling existence. In this journey of self-discovery, we find the key to unlocking our true potential and embracing a life lived on our own terms.

Understanding Our Being: We begin with self-awareness, getting to know ourselves better, identifying strengths, and areas for improvement. By developing a growth mindset, we embrace a continuous journey of self-improvement.

1. Expanding Knowledge and Empathy: Reading plays a vital role in personal development. By diversifying our reading materials, we gain a broader perspective and use books as powerful tools for empathy and personal growth.

2. Nurturing Physical and Mental Well-being: Recognizing the mind-body connection, we emphasize the benefits of regular exercise. By incorporating physical activity into our daily routines and exploring various forms of exercise, we improve mental and emotional well-being.

3. The Amount of Effort You Put Forth: In the pursuit of personal development, the effort we invest holds profound significance. Recognizing the importance of consistent and dedicated effort, we embark on a transformative journey. By setting achievable goals and diligently tracking our progress, we pave the way for meaningful growth.

Our ability to focus on what we can control is a powerful tool for personal growth and well-being. Through this holistic exploration, we have learned that there are numerous aspects of our lives that lie within our grasp to shape and improve. By understanding our being through self-awareness and embracing a growth mindset, we lay the foundation for continuous self-improvement. In this journey of self-discovery and growth, we discover how these controllable factors influence our lives positively and pave the way for a more fulfilling and purpose-driven existence. By taking charge of what we can control, we create a life that aligns with our values and aspirations.

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects individuals of all ages and backgrounds. It can be characterized by excessive worry, fear, and uneasiness, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as restlessness, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. Unfortunately, if left untreated, anxiety can have significant impacts on an individual's daily functioning and overall well-being. Therefore, it is crucial to consider treatment options for individuals experiencing anxiety symptoms. For individuals with anxiety symptoms, there are various treatment options available to help manage and alleviate their symptoms. When examining treatment options for anxiety disorder, you should explore which treatment options you might find to be most beneficial.

What are treatment options for anxiety?

One of the first-line treatment options recommended by clinical practice guidelines is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT includes combining cognitive therapies and behavioral therapy. Through cognitive therapy, you learn about cognitive restructuring and identify the thoughts that can cause anxiety. You'll learn to change your negative thoughts to more positive and inspiring thoughts. This helps to prevent anxiety and stress. Behavioral therapy offers techniques to help control anxiety disorders. These techniques may include relaxation exercises, exposure therapy, and problem-solving skills training.

DBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy is primarily modeled on cognitive-behavioral therapy but emphasizes accepting unpleasant thoughts or feelings and avoiding trying to control them. Using this method clients can help them deal with the negative feelings or behaviors. DBT teaches how emotional skills should be applied to the life of everyday life. It aims at managing the emotions associated with stress and anger. DBT also helps to increase one's capacity for controlling emotions.

Mindfulness-based interventions have also shown promise in the treatment of anxiety. Mindfulness-based interventions, such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, and Acceptance Commitment Therapy, focus on cultivating awareness and acceptance of the present moment, without judgment. These interventions help individuals develop the skills to respond to anxiety-provoking thoughts and emotions more adaptively.

EMDR is another treatment option that has shown promise in reducing anxiety symptoms. EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a therapy technique that targets traumatic memories or experiences. By using bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or taps, EMDR aims to facilitate the processing and integration of these traumatic memories, leading to a reduction in anxiety symptoms. In addition to the above-mentioned treatment options, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing has shown promise in reducing anxiety symptoms by targeting the underlying traumatic experiences. Another treatment option for anxiety is medication therapy.

Pharmacotherapy or medication therapy is a treatment option for anxiety. Some commonly prescribed medications for anxiety include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors, benzodiazepines, and beta-blockers. However, it is important to note that medication should be used in conjunction with therapy and under the supervision of a healthcare professional.

What are holistic treatment options?

In addition to psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy, there are also holistic treatment options available for individuals with anxiety. These holistic treatment options include exercise, relaxation techniques, and dietary changes. These can be used in conjunction with therapy and medication to further enhance the management of anxiety symptoms. At Joie de Vivre we offer holistic integrative services such as, Biofeedback, Mindfulness and Hynotherapy are used to compliment your treatment and promote emotional regulation and a healthier lifestyle. One of the key advantages of holistic treatment options, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy and mindfulness-based interventions, is that they do not have the potential for adverse side effects that may come with medication therapy.

How long does therapy take to help anxiety?

It is hard to predict the exact length of time it will take for you to meet your goals. While brief treatment may be appropriate for some issues, others may require more extensive treatment. Individual concerns are improved or resolved at different rates. During your initial appointment we will work to understand your needs and concerns, discuss recommendations regarding the frequency of sessions and appropriate approach for your situation.

What is the success rate of therapy for anxiety?

It's good to know that anxiety can be easily managed. A recent survey found more that the majority of patients who receive psychotherapy for anxiety and other mental conditions experience improvement.

- Monica Manuel, MS, LPC

Understanding and embracing your menstrual cycle is essential for promoting women's health and overall well-being. Menstruation, commonly referred to as a period, is a natural bodily process where vaginal bleeding occurs regularly on a monthly or specific time interval. This bleeding is a result of the shedding of the uterine lining. Having a better understanding of the 4 phases throughout your cycle can help you be a better you through this experience. Menstruation is accompanied by various physical and emotional changes that can impact women differently. These changes may include mood swings, food cravings, abdominal or pelvic cramping pain, bloating, and fatigue. Recognizing and addressing these symptoms can contribute to a woman's overall health and wellness.

To optimize women's health and well-being, it is crucial to adopt menstruation practices that cater to each phase of the menstrual cycle. Each phase has unique characteristics and requirements.

Follicular Phase: The follicular phase is the first phase of the menstrual cycle, starting from the first day of menstruation and lasting until ovulation. During this phase, hormonal levels are low, and the body is preparing for ovulation. Helpful tips for this phase include:

• Nourish your body with nutritious foods rich in vitamins and minerals.

• Engage in light to moderate exercise, such as yoga or brisk walking.

• Prioritize self-care activities like getting enough sleep and practicing stress management techniques.

• Stay hydrated and drink plenty of water to support overall health.

Menstruation Phase: The menstruation phase occurs when the uterine lining sheds and is expelled through the vagina. This phase typically lasts for a few days. Here are some tips for supporting your well-being during menstruation:

• Prioritize self-care and allow yourself to rest as needed.

• Practice gentle movement and consider activities like walking, stretching, or gentle yoga to alleviate discomfort.

• Use heating pads or take warm baths to soothe abdominal cramps.

• Maintain a balanced diet by including foods rich in iron, such as leafy greens and lean meats, to replenish iron lost during menstruation.

Ovulatory Phase: The ovulatory phase occurs around the middle of the menstrual cycle when an egg is released from the ovary. This phase is characterized by a surge in hormones, including estrogen and luteinizing hormone (LH). Here are some tips for this phase:

• Focus on self-care activities to nurture your emotional well-being, such as journaling or engaging in creative pursuits.

• Practice stress reduction techniques like deep breathing exercises or meditation.

• Prioritize healthy relationships and social connections for a positive mindset.

• Indulge in nourishing foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants to support hormonal balance.

Luteal Phase: The luteal phase starts after ovulation and lasts until the beginning of menstruation. During this phase, progesterone levels rise, and the uterine lining thickens in preparation for a potential pregnancy. Here are some helpful tips for the luteal phase:

• Maintain a balanced lifestyle by consuming a well-rounded diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.

• Engage in regular exercise, such as strength training or moderate aerobic activities, to support overall well-being.

• Practice relaxation techniques like deep relaxation exercises, gentle yoga, or mindfulness meditation to manage stress.

• Prioritize self-care activities that bring you joy and help you unwind, such as taking baths, reading, or spending time in nature.
  
  

  - Jamila Jamison-Neto

There are many different therapeutic approaches to help your mental health. A more creative approach to express yourself is incorporating art. Art therapy is a form of psychotherapy that utilizes creative processes, such as painting, drawing, and sculpting, to help individuals express themselves and explore their emotions. This approach can be particularly helpful for individuals who have difficulty verbalizing their feelings or experiences.

There are many benefits associated with art therapy, including improved mental health, reduced stress and anxiety, increased self-awareness, and enhanced communication skills. In the article "Art Therapy for Schizophrenia or Schizophrenia-Like Illnesses" by Megan E. Renna, William B. Saltzman, and Linda L. Murphy (2017), their research found that art therapy was associated with significant improvements in symptoms of schizophrenia, including positive symptoms (such as delusions and hallucinations), negative symptoms (such as lack of motivation and emotional expression), and general psychopathology. Additionally, art therapy was found to improve social functioning and quality of life in this population. Saba Hasan and Rehana Rehman (2019) found that children who participated in art therapy experienced significant reductions in their stress and anxiety levels compared to those in the control group.

Art therapy provides a unique and creative approach to psychotherapy, allowing individuals to express themselves in ways that may be difficult with traditional talk therapy. As research on the benefits of art therapy continues to grow, it is important to consider incorporating this approach into mental health treatment plans. Whether used alone or in conjunction with other forms of therapy, art therapy can be a powerful tool for promoting emotional expression, self-awareness, and improved mental health.

-Nia Moore

How do you know if you are settled in a relationship? Is settling in a relationship a bad thing? What are the first red flags of settling in a relationship? How do you know if your relationship is unhealthy?

Settling in a relationship means being ready to accept less than what you want or deserve. Therefore, settling in a relationship can be a bad thing. When you decide to settle in a relationship, you choose to accept things that you deeply know don’t sit right by you. The fear of losing the one you love is the main reason why you could be settling.

People settle in their relationships for many different reasons. In fact, it's so common that you might even be settling without realizing it.

Signs That You’re Settling in Your Relationship:

1. You’re constantly comparing – You always seem to size up your relationship against other couples, and usually, it’s not a very healthy comparison. Maybe you just can’t help but notice how much happier others are together, you’re envious of all the cool things they’re doing together, or that they’re just so compatible. If you were with someone you truly wanted to be with and cared about, these things wouldn’t matter. At least, you wouldn’t be noticing them on such a grand scale. It would be more of an observation rather than a comparison.

2. You don’t want to be alone –Thanks to our society’s poor stigma of being single, we sometimes resort to just about anything for the sake of not being alone. In fact, very few people know how to be alone and do it well. The word alone sounds so harsh, doesn’t it? It’s important to learn how to embrace being alone without being lonely. Know your worth and your value, and don’t let someone else have to define that for you. Always remember – being with the wrong person for the wrong reasons is so much worse than just riding out the single wave.

3. You justify – If it seems like you have to convince yourself and others that you’re happy, or even if you have to look for reasons, you’re with this person, I’d say that’s one of the biggest red flags you’re in a sinking ship of settling. You shouldn’t have to explain to others, or yourself, why you’re dating someone. Making excuses for a partner or anything questionably negative in the relationship is a clear sign that you’re in something you probably shouldn’t be in.

4. The little things bother you – It’s perfectly okay to get a little irked by people’s quirks and bad habits, especially when you’ve gotten to know someone well and you’ve become comfortable with each other enough for those walls to come down. But when it gets to a point of resentment, over some of the smallest things, that’s another glaring sign that you probably shouldn’t be with this person.

5. You keep thinking your partner will change – If you’re viewing any part of your relationship as a temporary thing that “will get better eventually,” there’s another indicator that you’ve settled yourself into some unhappiness. Overall, you should like your partner just the way they are right now. Fast forwarding to some future, “better” version of who you want them to be doesn’t exactly sound like a genuine, or healthy thing for that matter. The problem with dating someone because of their potential is that you’re not getting to know who they really are. While it’s normal for people in a relationship to grow, they have to do it on their own.

6. You don’t think you can do better – Maybe you feel trapped in a situation that seems decent, but you’re pretty much only in it because you’re afraid to leave. You’re afraid to leave because you’re afraid you won’t find anyone “better.” Truthfully, we shouldn’t evaluate partners on whether they’re good enough, but on whether they’re right for us. I mean, if you’re really into it, you wouldn’t have to think about doing that. Never stay in a relationship because you don’t think you can do better!

7. You feel tied to your commitments – You’ve already invested the time and energy, you’ve made plans and memories together, and you’ve taken the time to get really comfortable with each other, so why break it off? The thing is, if you’ve already given it a chance, tried working through whatever issues there are, and you still don’t feel quite right about it. No one needs consent to leave a relationship, millions of people remain in unhappy relationships that range for many different reasons. The feeling of suffocation or of having no choice stems from unconscious fears that lead to guilt. People give many explanations for staying in bad relationships, ranging from caring for young children to caring for a sick partner. Remember that you don’t owe anyone anything other than honesty — for both your partner and yourself.

Settling in a relationship means being ready to accept less than what you want or deserve. Therefore, settling in a relationship can be a bad thing. When you decide to settle in a relationship, you choose to accept things that you deeply know don’t sit right by you. The fear of losing the one you love is the main reason why you could be settling.

Settling often begins when you lose yourself to your significant other. It happens when you begin losing your worth and changing little bits of yourself to remain committed to a relationship that doesn’t serve your best interest. However, it would help if you didn’t confuse settling with compromising. When you choose to be okay with everything your partner does at your expense to keep the relationship going, that is settling.

On the other hand, compromising is being ready to accept that your partner is not perfect; they have their faults. Accepting imperfection is compromising.

Accepting your partner who is not perfect is compromising, which is important for every relationship.

- Jade Asuncion

Setting boundaries can be tricky sometimes, especially if you aren’t used to what healthy boundaries look like. When we think of the word boundary, we may associate this with a fence or border used to separate two things from each other. That is exactly what boundaries are in relationships. A boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person. Boundaries are important in every relationship because they help you define what you are comfortable with and how you’ll like to be treated.

It is also important to learn and respect the boundaries of others. This helps to create healthy and long-lasting relationships. Healthy boundaries may look like staying true to your values and belief, putting yourself first, making time for self-care amidst a busy schedule, knowing when to say no, expressing your feelings without guilt, accepting help from people, standing up for yourself, asking for space, communicating physical and emotional needs and not tolerating any form of disrespect.

Steps in Creating Healthy Boundaries

1. Clearly define your boundaries: This is the first and most important step in setting boundaries. Knowing what boundaries are to you and what boundaries you want to be respected is crucial. Take some time to reflect on the relationships you have. What relationship causes you stress and drains your energy? Write out these boundaries to give more clarity.

2. Be straight forward and openly communicate your boundaries: Communicating your new boundaries can be scary especially after you’ve accepted that disrespect for some time. You don’t need to spare anyone’s feelings but be mindful of your tone and be calm.

3. Uphold these new boundaries: After setting boundaries in relationships, people may still choose to disrespect or ignore them. Be sure to stay true to these boundaries and continue reminding them of your boundaries if they choose to ignore them.

4. Seek professional support: Sometimes, we don’t succeed in setting boundaries and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to seek professional support like therapy and counseling to help move past this barrier in life.

5. Setting boundaries does not always feel good but remember it is important in relationships. Boundaries can be set with family, friends, romantic partners, co workers and even complete strangers. Take charge of your life and do not let others take advantage of you.

Is depression, anxiety, eating and bipolar illnesses the only facts involved when it come to the mental health of women? There are several other factors that come into play when dealing with mental health. The burden of mental disorders is usually greater in females compared to males due to hormonal differences, vulnerability to female specific medical illnesses, reproductive risks, psychiatric disorders like postnatal depression and sexual violence. One other factor that affects the mental health of women is gender discrimination. This issue receives less attention compared to biological factors.

Gender discrimination, often referred to as gender disadvantage or inequalities is an unequal or disadvantageous treatment of an individual or groups of individuals based on gender. This includes discrimination in the workplace, restrictions on clothing, disfavoring someone based on gender and the gender gap. These forms of gender discrimination cause not only a strain in physical health, but mental health as well. Discrimination often exists when societal norms and attitudes stipulate that women should hold a subordinate position, leading women to hold a minority status within a society.

Effects of Discrimination on Women’s Mental Health

·       Limited access to employment opportunities

·       Limited access to quality health care

·       Low self esteem

·       Minority statues leads to discrimination which in turn causes stress

·       Perceived gender discrimination has been associated with psychiatric disorders including depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

To conclude, more efforts should be taken to reduce discrimination of gender by raising awareness to this issue, putting women in positions of power, development of policies against discrimination and the promotion of gender equality.

As women, we live in a time when everyone has an opinion about our bodies. Shame thrives off mental health issues such as eating disorders and anxiety. Disordered eating is a heavily impactful result of the criticism we hear from ourselves and society. Eating disorders can manifest in many different ways, and all types of eating disorders should be taken seriously. Types of eating disorders include anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. These symptoms can show through actions of restricting, binging, and/or purging.  Many people who struggle with disordered eating feel shame about their actions, their bodies, and the way society views them. It is important to note that with shame, the most effective way to start the healing process is to speak about shame. We must be open about our experiences with people we feel safe with, and by doing this, shame will subside. Eating disorders are valid mental health problems, and the shame that comes with having an eating disorder can be targeted through work on vulnerability.

The Shame Cycle or Shame Spiral occurs when we get caught up in a storm of shame that takes over and makes us feel humiliated and fragile. We start to feel shameful about feeling shameful. This can occur after participating in behaviors that are not healthy, being embarrassed, or going against your values. If you or anyone you know struggles with an eating disorder, there is an unconscious understanding that the disorder needs to be hidden. This has resulted in more shame for everyone involved because the actions are creating secrets. Not only are people with eating disorders affected by their symptoms, but when their support systems do not address the behaviors and shame, it creates a harder disorder to work through.

Vulnerability is important for people to address the ways they feel shameful. Shame has to be spoken about to end the cycles. By ignoring shame, we reinforce the negative self-talk that it brings. By encouraging the people in your life to have open conversations with you, everyone will be able to benefit from the experience. Your support system will be more informed and understanding of any symptoms, including eating disorders, by your honesty and vulnerability. While your support system is learning more about the experiences you are going through, your vulnerability allows for the weight to be taken off your shoulders.

Vulnerability does not end with your support system. You must be vulnerable and honest with yourself also. Treat yourself with grace and compassion and know that the negative thoughts you experience are false. You are capable of working through eating disorders, shame, and other symptoms. This is not always the easiest process to be kinder to yourself, but the shameful voices can be treated. Most people feel shame, and we would all benefit from treating ourselves nicer. Shame keeps us in a stagnant and frustrated place. The thoughts shame brings can be hurtful and uncomfortable, but by starting to open up to friends, family, and your therapist, the pain will start to decline.

~Abby Friedman

Self-acceptance can be thought of as something that is easily defined. Self-acceptance means we, as individuals, accept all of who we are. This means not only the good aspects but also the negative, such as our mistakes and our shortcomings. Self-acceptance is important because it gives us the confidence and trust we need to believe in ourselves and aids in our abilities to withstand hardships. Self-acceptance means acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses while understanding that both can coexist and play an important role in who we are as individuals.

Something easily defined, however, can be hard to achieve. Many of us struggle with self-acceptance because we may dwell on our mistakes, compare ourselves to others, or think negatively about the situations we’re in. Something that may help many of us achieve self-acceptance involves Mindfulness.

Mindfulness entails being aware of our environment or situation we’re in, meaning we’re engaged and present. Remaining aware and attentive to our body’s physical state of being as well as our emotional state is also important.

Mindfulness objectives that can help us improve our self-acceptance:

1.      the ability to view both objects and situations from multiple perspectives

2.      the ability to shift perspectives depending upon context

So, what does this mean and how is it useful for self-acceptance? In order for us to accept ourselves, we have to stop putting so much emphasis on our shortcomings or mistakes. When we mess up, instead of panicking or dwelling on it, we can shift our perspective. We can acknowledge that we have made an error, we got something wrong, but instead let’s try to remain calm and think, “what can I do to fix this?” or “can this be fixed?” If it is something that is out of our control, let’s take that into consideration too and maybe think “I messed up this time, but now I know what to do the next time.” Shifting of perspective and viewing the situation as separate from who you are as a person are both ways in practicing mindfulness in our everyday lives.

In addition to shifting perspectives, paying attention to our emotions and how our body reacts to certain situations matters. So, let’s think our ourselves as a “work in process” instead of focusing only on the negatives. Being aware of all our qualities, both the positive and negatives, and being genuine in how we present ourselves, can aid in our self-acceptance too. We can acknowledge and always learn from our experiences, and this can help us practice mindfulness every day and hopefully lead to self-acceptance.

—Liliana Campos

Finally, you’ve reached the time you have been waiting for. Their little hand wraps around one singular finger of yours. Everything feels serene and safe. It is supposed to be, right? You think to yourself “I should be happy.” Soon, the guilt fills in that you have to force yourself to be happy. Suddenly, a droplet glides down your cheek. You don’t understand if this is a heavy tear of sadness or a light tear of happiness. 

It’s going to be okay. 

These feelings of stress, anxiety, worry, describes the postpartum depression which is common after giving birth. With the excess hormones that are released during birth, and after individuals battle this change in their body. The hormones can cause massive mood fluctuations and can throw off the biological clock of the body.  It is important to understand that postpartum depression is common and there are many things to do to alleviate these feelings of isolation before it turns into something way more severe.

Remember, you are not alone

Identifying the symptoms of postpartum depression can help prevent severe depression and complete isolation. It  may seem like a scary process and it is something that is hard to wrap your head around. Yet, there are so many resources and ways to upbring yourself from this gray area. 

Some Common Symptoms

1. Mood: fluctuations in guilt, anger, sadness, panic attacks

2. Behavioral: crying, irritability, restlessness

3. Cognitive: lack of concentration, focus, fear

Postpartum depression symptoms are very similar to depression symptoms. However, with the extra hormones that ignite during postpartum the symptoms are much more fluctuating. That is why it is important to realize how intertwined the symptoms can get, and why it is so important not to dismiss it. There are many ways to come to a better understanding of yourself and work towards a plan to keep on track of health and happiness. However, if it gets too out of control it is so important to talk to a professional about how you are feeling. It’s important to note that these feelings are common after giving birth, and should not be brushed away. Listen to your body and listen to your mind. If the harmony is not there, and it is getting more severe do not hesitate to talk to a professional. 

Again, you are not alone. 

~ Varshini Kakarla

Our life is full of ups and downs. It doesn't matter who you are or where you live. There are always moment when your heart is broke nor hurt when you have to face failure, rejection or loss.

So how do you pick yourself up when you are down? How do you start your healing when you are hurt?

Being connected with nature results in some amazing changes inside your head which begin to calm you and soothe your nerves. Forest bathing is the practice of immersing yourself in nature in a mindful way, using your senses to derive a whole range of benefits for your physical, mental, emotional, and social health. It is also known as Shinrin-yoku. Shinrin means forest and Yoku stands for bathing.

Forest bathing seems to significantly mitigate the root cause of a multitude of ailments: stress. Excess stress can play a role in headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, and arthritis, among many other ailments.

A formal therapy was developed from the research and named Shinrin-Yoku, or forest bathing once translated. Forest bathing has been shown to significantly reduce blood pressure and stress levels, as well as have cardiac and pulmonary benefits.

Forests are known to have great healing properties. As humans, we have evolved in nature. It’s where we feel most comfortable. New research on healing powers of nature show multiple benefits for our mental health, relieving stress, anxiety, high blood pressure, and depression.

Just taking a short stroll through the forest or nature path can make you stronger and healthier. This is because the essential wood oils emitted in the air called phytoncides increase the number of killer cells in your body. These killer cells in turn help fight sickness and disease, like cancer, keeping you fit and fighting.

Unique activities that merge the benefits of mindfulness, creativity, and nature to grow your calm and improve your well-being. Learn the secrets of healing in nature, with nature.

One cannot escape the ups and downs of life but one can always find calm in nature. One can always find comfort and clarity in the company of woods.

-~Jade Asuncion

What does it mean when you say you enjoy life? Is it possible to enjoy life to the fullest?

Inevitable change is a fact. Change is inevitable and is synonymous with life and growth. The life we lead today is the result of the acceptance of change.

Many people spend their whole lives searching for things to make them happy, but what is joy and how can we come to experience it? We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are. We enjoy life when things are happening - this means you're alive. Here are the TOP 4 things that will genuinely help you live a joyful life:

1. Appreciate Little Things. Appreciating the little things in life means that you focus your attention on what nurtures and sustains you in life. On everything that brings you even the smallest amount of pleasure. It also means practicing gratitude by noticing these everyday things that you take for granted so easily.

2. Avoid Toxic Environment. A toxic environment is any place or any behavior that causes harm to your health, happiness, and wellbeing. If you’re around people who make you feel small, insecure, or bad about yourself, you might be in a toxic environment. If you feel a physical weight every time you walk into your place of work, you might be in a toxic environment.

3. Be Content. Contentment is generally defined as a longer lasting, but a deeper feeling of satisfaction and gratitude. Happiness is arguably viewed as having a temporary feeling attached to it. Whereas contentment is viewed by many to have a long-lasting effect on those that experience it.

4. Nourish your Body. You can’t enjoy life if you’re not nourishing your body. Little things matter more when you’re enjoying. Be exuberant about life, share this moment to celebrate small victories. Sometimes having fun with the people - we love is all the therapy you need.

A joyful life is not being rich, being popular, being highly educated or being perfect. It is about being real, being humble, being strong and being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others. It is only then that we could have a full, happy and content life.

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

~Jade Asuncion

The term Positive Psychology means a lot. What is Positive Psychology and why is it important? There are some common misconceptions about positive psychology, both about what it is and what it is not.

Positive Psychology

Described in many ways and with many words, but the commonly accepted definition of the field is that positive psychology is a scientific approach to studying human thoughts, feelings, and behavior, with a focus on strengths instead of weaknesses, building the good in life instead of repairing the bad, and taking the lives of average people up to “great” instead of focusing solely on moving those who are struggling up to “normal”.

Characteristics of Positive Psychology

• Positive events and influences in life.

• Positive experiences like happiness, joy, inspiration, and love.

• Positive states and traits like gratitude, resilience, and compassion.

• Positive institutions applying positive principles within entire organizations and institutions.

Positive psychology teaches how to harness the power of shifting one’s perspective to maximize the potential for happiness in many of our everyday behaviors. Injecting a bit more optimism and gratitude into your life is a simple action that can give you a radically more positive outlook on life. Happiness also promotes more happiness.

Using positive psychology can choose our own environments and be with the people that increase our probability of happiness. The individuals who become the happiest and grow the most are those who also make truth and their own personal growth primary values.

"This is scientific proof that happiness is indeed a choice."

~Jade Asuncion

Every woman needs to know these.

Living in the society we do; we’re force-fed ideas and belief systems. Unconsciously we are molded by everything that goes on around us. Consequently, we grow used to them, and fail to see the wrong in them. Some of us lose the ability to see beyond what we’ve always been taught or made to believe. And those of us who dare even think let alone do anything differently face numerous difficulties. It’s virtually impossible for someone to be themselves and to go after what they truly desire.

When it comes to relationships, we’ve been brought up thinking that only when you’re with someone, you feel complete; otherwise, something will always be missing. And that being in love creates dependency and so on. Women particularly tend to get carried away with these ideas and set unrealistic expectations of their relationships.

They need to understand that relationships play out very differently in real life than fiction. And it’s absolutely normal to think and feel against the norms set forth. You can shape your relationships along with your partner the way you see fit.

• The only person capable of saving you is YOU!
Unlike the movies, there isn’t going to be a knight in shining armor to save you from yourself. You are your own savior. Just like you’d like for your partner to be capable of taking care of themselves, they would prefer the same from you. If saving you is all they ever does, the relationship won’t be fulfilling for either of you. So may be lay off the whole damsel in distress bit and learn to take care of yourself. They can be there for you when you need them, but you alone are responsible for your life and happiness.

• You cannot be anyone else’s savior
If you’re responsible for yourself, so are they. There’s only so much you can do for someone. This doesn’t mean that you should abandon them in times of need. Be the unwavering support they need. But remember, it’s up to them to help themselves. The urge to keep them safe from everything comes naturally, but you need to realize that they need to take care of things themselves. And it is essential for everyone to face the difficult times to grow as a person.

• Recognize the difference between being supportive and agreeing
Just because your partner doesn’t agree with you on something does not mean they wouldn’t support you. You might not be on the same page with them, but it shouldn’t keep you from being there for them when they needs you. For instance, you might think that a certain career path isn’t the best choice, but if it’s something they’d love to do, you should do your part in helping them get there. Similarly, if there’s something you want and your partner is not particularly a fan of, they would still be on board with it just for your sake.

• You don’t need to play caretaker just to show them support
The only way to love someone wholeheartedly is to love yourself first. There is nothing wrong with placing your needs above everyone else’s. Unless you feel content, you won’t be able to make anyone else feel the same. Sure, you should be there when they need you, but that does not mean enabling them in anyway. It’s crucial for everyone as an individual to take care of themselves on their own.

• First impressions matter
Pay close attention to what they say and more importantly to how they act. Don’t fool yourself into believing that they might change somewhere along the way. If you can’t accept them the way they are then you’re only setting yourself up for regret. If there’s something that you find unacceptable about them, and you keep up with it initially hoping for it to go away, you won’t like the result.

• Learn to accept things and people the way they are

Be very clear on what you want and if you choose to be with a certain someone, who wants different things, come to terms with it. This is the only way you’re going to have a viable relationship. Don’t suppress your needs or wants and don’t make your significant other do that either. Accept them as they are, and you’ll be at peace with your relationship.

• Face the difficulties instead of running away from them
No matter how difficult, terrifying or hopeless a situation may be, running away is never an option. If you’re out the door at the very sign of trouble, you probably need to reconsider your idea of a relationship. You’ll face problems regardless of who ever you’re with and whatever you do. So, bring yourself to deal with them. In relationships, it serves to be a cornerstone, and if done right, strengthens the foundation.

• You are equally responsible for the condition of your relationship
Whenever something goes wrong, we tend to blame the next person. It’s the easier thing to do. In doing so, we fail to acknowledge our shortcomings. There is a pretty good chance that if you’re not particularly happy with your relationship, it could be because you are either doing something wrong or maybe not doing anything at all. The way your relationship turns out depends on you as much as it does on them.

• Some relationships inevitably end
Whenever you meet someone that you decide to be with, you naturally want them to be the one. Where it could happen, there’s always a chance that it couldn’t. Life has its uncertainties. In some cases, you both might not be on the same page, or you drift apart while in others, even if you two want to ne together, things just don’t work out. That does not have to be the end of the world, you still have yourself. Love yourself and whoever is meant to stay, will stay. Some things are beyond your control and there’s no point in stressing over them.

As long as you come to terms with these realities, you will have better luck with your relationships. You will know what to expect and what to give in return. And that your first priority should be yourself. You can’t expect a relationship to last without any sort of efforts. Cater to its needs and everything will fall into place.

- Jade Asuncion

Most people cannot define their vision of love because love is a complicated matter and relationships can be challenging. However, there are proven ways to better understand how we give and receive love from others. According to Dr. Chapman, there are five primary love languages that people speak. Are love languages real, or are they a myth? Could knowing your partner’s love language improve your relationship? Let's find out.

The languages include words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Here is an overview of each:

Words of affirmation: Compliments, sweet statements, expressions of pride and appreciation – these are verbal statements that display affection.

Receiving gifts: This involves tangible items with thoughtful meaning. Gifts do not have to cost a lot of money. They simply show, “Hey, he was thinking of me today.”

Acts of service: These are actions, not physical gifts. Examples include having dinner ready when your spouse gets home from work, washing your partner’s car, giving your spouse a foot rub at the end of the day, etc.

Quality time: This involves spending time with your partner, either doing an activity or hanging out at home. Acts of service and quality time are similar in that they are both gifts of time. However, quality time involves moments together. Acts of service are thoughtful efforts.

Physical touch: This is physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, being intimate, etc.

According to Dr. Chapman, each person has a primary and secondary love language. The primary love language is the one that resonates “love” to that person the most. A person’s secondary love language has less value than the primary love language, but it still communicates love to them.

Love languages have two sides – Giving and Receiving

How you normally give love may not be the same as how you receive love. These factors usually align, but not always. For example, I may enjoy giving gifts to others, but I do not enjoy receiving them. I may enjoy surprising my loved ones with acts of service, but I dislike surprises in return.

With that in mind, the five love languages do provide a helpful guideline for a thriving and long-lasting relationship. Understanding your love languages and your partner’s love languages can ensure that you showcase your love clearly and effectively.

When was the last time you have felt most loved? Ask your partner to do the same, and talk about the elements that are equivalent to the word "I love you". It's not gonna be easy but it'll definitely be worth it. ♥

~Jade Asuncion